How to Be a Dork

How to arrange a face.

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 19:45:00 -0600

How to arrange a face.

Today my stepmom told me I need to stop correcting people all the time because it makes them feel...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 20:18:12 -0600

Today my stepmom told me I need to stop correcting people all the time because it makes them feel bad and because I need to respect my elders.

I said nothing.

But I would like to say here, that I will respect my elders when they respect me. Living longer doesn’t make you more of a person than me. In addition, I don’t really fucking care if people feel bad when I correct them, because they make me feel bad by being racist, and sexist, and overall offensive all the time. Just honestly, I feel that I could say worse things to these people than I do right now, and still be pretty justified.

So fuck the world.

And goodnight.

I hope all these people live nice, offensive lifestyles dragging their fellow humans through the mud while I sit by silently, correcting no one, and allowing it to happen.

Thanks for reading or whatever.

Hey everybody, I started a new project. I take everyone in the world I hate, put them in a magical...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 19:45:47 -0600

Hey everybody, I started a new project. I take everyone in the world I hate, put them in a magical hot air balloon and shoot it into the sun. Then I crack open a nice cold soda and live the rest of my life. Repeat until dead.

After shower Kala. Behold my tangled, water soaked hair and my...

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 03:26:42 -0600

After shower Kala. Behold my tangled, water soaked hair and my annoyed, post shower glare. I also radiate heat for the next hour after my shower. After shower Kala…not for sale at your local supermarket, or anywhere. You can’t have her.

There have been times where I get really into a conversation, and I go off on this excited tangent...

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 22:25:00 -0600

There have been times where I get really into a conversation, and I go off on this excited tangent and am just spewing some impressive list of facts and opinions, and after I’m done I look over and see that that person wasn’t listening.

And like, not only were they not listening, but they didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me that they didn’t have time to listen right now.

Then I’m quiet for like 15 fucking minutes.

And they look over and say “Okay, so what were you saying?”

What am I supposed to say in response to that total disregard for me and my opinions.

“Wait-tell me what you were saying before? I totally care now.”

Well you know what, fine. You want to know what I was talking about before? From now on, the forever response to that question will be the same.

“FLYING ORTHOPEDIC SHARKS.”

THERE, FUCKING FIGURE THAT OUT, I DARE YOU.

I don’t necessarily think that I’m right, I just think that everyone else is wrong.

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 23:32:38 -0600

I don’t necessarily think that I’m right, I just think that everyone else is wrong.

Sick Cup. Please administer only when absolutely needed. Serve...

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 18:19:16 -0600

Sick Cup. Please administer only when absolutely needed. Serve hot, with green tea and extra honey. Add needed amount of comfort and love. Sick Cup.

My Sick Cup

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 18:16:14 -0600

There’s a cup I use when I’m sick.

My sick cup.

My sick cup has special healing properties which don’t make me less sick but that makes me feel a little warmer inside.

I’m very careful to only use it when I’m sick.

I always use it when I have the cold or the flu or some other conventional type of sick.

I usually use it those few times I’ve had to have surgery

I use my cup for those kinds of sicknesses.

But every so often, when absolutely necessary, I use my sick cup for the sickness of the heart.

Because sometimes that needs healing too.

I can’t remember the last time we played dolls or I watched you wash your hair in the lake I...

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 16:26:48 -0600

I can’t remember the last time we played dolls

or I watched you wash your hair in the lake

I can’t remember the last time you baked

or walked through the woods

I can’t remember the last time you forced me to play scrabble

or spent Christmas with me

I can’t remember the last time you hugged me too tight

or the last time I hugged you at all

I can’t remember the last time we did everything we used to do everday

and now as everyday dwindles into somedays

I’m afraid of what to do with the days that used to be filled with you

I tried to think of the best way to say goodbye to you

a way that would satisfy the both of us and everyone else we love

but how can I find the words and will to let you go

when all I want is to drop to my knees and beg you to stay with us

to play with dolls and wash your hair in the lake and hug me too tight

and do all the things you used to do everyday with a smile that only you have

I know that you can’t

and I always knew this was coming

and that I would never be ready for it

I guess

I just thought we had more time

I laugh in the face of the world. So ha, take that world.

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 01:31:44 -0600

I laugh in the face of the world.

So ha, take that world.

I think my account’s been hacked or something. :/

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 21:26:45 -0600

I think my account’s been hacked or something. :/

my mother sat across from me and whispered with tears in her eyes “I could never give you...

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:54:42 -0600

my mother sat across from me and whispered with tears in her eyes

“I could never give you everything you deserved, but I sure as hell tried.”

and it doesn’t really matter that she’s given me everything

because through all her guilt and sorrow she could never see

that she’s my biggest inspiration

Actually, the reason I stay up so late messing around on the internet, is because I can’t...

Sat, 10 Nov 2012 02:37:48 -0600

Actually, the reason I stay up so late messing around on the internet, is because I can’t stand going to bed and being alone with my own thoughts.

I hate it when Kala judges everyone for judging everyone.

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 17:51:39 -0600

Thanks, but that was actually my point. I dislike when people make passive aggressive statements about people judging other people.

I get really annoyed whenever I see posts or comments from people complaining about people judging...

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 16:02:02 -0600

I get really annoyed whenever I see posts or comments from people complaining about people judging other people.

That’s just judging everyone.

Is it innapropriate to scream WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YES GODDAMNIT YES!!! in the dorms at...

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 22:51:25 -0600

Is it innapropriate to scream WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YES GODDAMNIT YES!!! in the dorms at 11 at night?

Yes?

I’ll just scream it silently in my head then.

And also here.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

woo! :)

During election time I am too superstitious and anxious to comment on what’s happening. So I...

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 21:52:13 -0600

During election time I am too superstitious and anxious to comment on what’s happening. So I always sit quietly at home and watch everyone else’s excitement through my dimly lit computer screen, breathing ever so softly with eyes as wide as saucers.

Like a stalker.

my tears are not an eternal stream of one continuous sorrow each one has a name and a...

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 21:46:21 -0600

my tears are not an eternal stream

of one continuous sorrow

each one has a name

and a single

solitary

reason to fall

that doesn’t make them less important

on the contrary

it’s because I have so many concerns

that there are so many tears

all of which

matter

my heart is a pendulum heavy and slowly beating against the inside of my chest at a slow steady...

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 19:13:22 -0600

my heart is a pendulum

heavy

and slowly beating against the inside of my chest at a slow

steady rhythm

hanging by thin

flexible string

which at any moment

threatens to snap

and sink to the floor

with a dull and resounding

thud

Dear Kala, Do not read other people’s responses to the readings about racial identity. It will...

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 22:51:15 -0600

Dear Kala,

Do not read other people’s responses to the readings about racial identity.

It will only make you want to punch them in the face.

Instead, sit in your room quietly with tea and snacks, and watch the new Merlin.

Okay?

Okay.

Good.